Something Happening Here: Head for the Hills, Mountains, and Other Remote Areas!

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September 2, 2007 Newsletter

Test Yourself: Are you ready to move out of the "rat race" into the remote?

Depending on whether you answer "yes" or "no" to the following questions could be a rough indicator on whether or not you will be able to handle life outside "the matrix". These questions test your ability to think independently and for yourself, but at the same time, test your ability to get along with neighbors the likes of whom you may never have experienced before and might never experience otherwise. The question that should be answered is: can you ADAPT to life in a remote area, where there are more wild animals than people?

Here is a list of questions, based on questions I have had to ask myself in the process of adapting to rural living. Record your answer to each as "yes" or "no" on a separate sheet of paper or text file. Then check below for what each response means regarding your afaptibility to live remotely. Above all, be honest with yourself!

1. Have you ever felt the need to call in on the Dr. Laura Schlessinger radio show? Yes or No.

2. Do you make daily trips to the grocery store, DVD rental, bank, post office (or, does the postman deliver your mail), or Starbucks or junk food selling shop? Yes or No.

3. Do you feel naked without your cell phone? Yes or No.

4. Do you have the patience to use a dialup internet connection or the budget to purchase a satellite internet connection, which is not much faster than dialup? Yes or No.

5. Are you willing to fence in your garden by your own labor, and then till it until the dirt is worth planting in? Yes or No.

6. Do you hate having next door neighbors? Yes or No.

7. Do you hate having to volunteer for anything? Yes or No.

8. Have you ever spent a month or more in "the country"? Yes or No.

9. Are you allergic to various kinds of pollen or have "hayfever"? Yes or No.

10. Have you ever felt insecure being without street lights at night? Yes or No.

11. Have you ever had "weird" neighbors? Yes or No.

12. If you have school age children and both spouses work, is one of you willing to stop working in order to homeschool the children because the school is relatively far away and the cost of school books is less than the amount of money you would have to spend on gas (assuming you would have to leave your kids at the school until you could pick them up after work)? Yes or No.

Now, for the "answers", and don't forget there are no "right" or "wrong" answer here, but consider these analyses of your answers.

A "yes" on #1 means you must think about the fact that you probably prefer an "expert" to help you solve your problems (especially relationship problems). You may have trouble finding someone out in the remote to help you work through these, however. Folks out here expect you to work these things out with the one you have the relationship with, or yourself. Some people don't mind listening to someone else's problems, but many out in the remote do not have this attitude. A "no" answer means you are already one step ahead in this area. A "yes" on #2 means you have serious adapting to do, because these kinds of activities are untenable, as you will have to do all your errands on the same day trip to town...and many small towns don't have places like DVD rentals or Starbucks. Again, a "no" answer means you are a step ahead. A "yes" on #3 won't matter unless you choose the mountains to live in. Many mountain land-based subdivisions do not have cell-phone service because cell phone towers do not yet exist, except in a few areas with line of sight to cell towers. Most straight-terrain type rural areas do have cell service with no mountains blocking signals. Again, a "no" means you don't have this concern. What I didn't mention is the slight possibility, too, that if your area is very remote you have to consider the possibility that you might have to settle for party lines! Believe it or not, we had party lines out here in the (far west Texas) Davis Mountains until the mid-nineties! This leads to #4: a "yes" answer means you are prepared for the ONLY option in most remote rural areas. If you prefer dialup over satellite due to cost, remember that many rural areas no longer have dialup services. This is most likely due to the fact that local small communities put up broadband towers using Federal grant money to rural internet co-ops, and local ISPs had to pay use fees to these co-ops. Well, many didn't, and thus got sued out of business (which is what happened where I live). So in some areas sateliite, which isn't very fast and is expensive, is the ONLY internet option. And I will also note: a "clear view of the southern sky" means a CLEAR, no trees, no mountains in the way, view of the southern sky. Therefore, if you must get satellite DO NOT buy a piece of land that has a mountain or structure that blocks the southern sky! If you answered "no" on #4, then you had better do research on the kind of internet connection is available in the remote area you want to live in. Also, if you can't afford satellite ($200-400 for the equipment, $100-200 for the installation and $50-60 a month service fee), then you really have to choose your area wisely. And be aware that with satellite you get many "network outages" during the week, and forget satellite if it's raining. It won't work. This of course also applies to satellite TV, which, of course, is probably your only option here if you insist on having TV. A "yes" on #5 is crucial, because that means that you are willing to roll up your sleeve and get to work. You MUST have a fenced-in garden in the remote to keep the deer, rabbits, javelinas, and similar wildlife out, as well as goats and the like if you choose to raise them. Your fencing must partially stick into the ground all around with no holes or spaces that a small animal like a rabbit or javelina or wild hog can crawl through. If deer is a problem you must also build it high because they can jump a fence that is less than 6 feet high! If they can jump in off a rocky ledge, you have to cover that as well. Plus, don't expect the garden-ready dirt to just be there waiting for you to plant veggies. You will have to till or dig up the grass and flora, and remove any large rocks that you come across (use the rocks to build up the structure of your garden or provide a water-drainable foot path). In fact your first year of gardening may simply be making your garden so that you can start growing next year. the farther south you are, of course, the better. Growing season in the US southwest is from March to October; in the northern plains it is May (the very earliest) to late September. And having a garden means have a way to water it. This is where water collection devices to collect roof-draining rainwater come in handy. A "no" answer means you are either going to hire someone to do it, or have a greenhouse built. Or, you have no intention of having a garden and will buy all your food in town. But garden grown food is more healthful and tastier too. I find the difference between eating food we grow in the summer and food we have to buy at the store in the winter amazing. Store bought food simply doesn't taste as well as freshly grown food.

A "yes" on #6 means you should have moved years ago, because more and more people are leaving the cities and suburbs (and even small towns!) because it is getting too overcrowded, too stressful, too polluted, and plus with the internet folks don't need to live where they work anymore and can telecommute, making a trip into the city one day a week only. Not that you will have neighbors "right on top of you" because rural remote land implies 5 acres or more plots, leaving you plenty of room to not see your neighbor when you look outside the window. If you don't want neighbors, either buy a large peice of land or buy a piece that is not likley to have neighbors: next to a relatively "undesirable" piece of land (ie. the land isn't flat enough for most people, or the dirt road going to that land is in bad shape.) A "no" answer again makes this a moot point. On #7, a "yes" answer means you will have a harder time fitting in, or have no intention of fitting in. A "no" answer means you are willing to help your community and not only will fit in better, but will be able to depend upon your neighbors to help you when you need it. This can be a big deal if your house burns down, you have a medical emergency, or you really need a friend for some reason. If no one knows you, they are less likely to trust you. This is particularly true if, say, you were 20 years ago, say, a convicted sex offender, you have mended your ways...but with that kind of reputation, who is going to want to deal with you unless they know you? A "yes" on #8 means you may not need to take this "test" as you already know what is needed. A "no" answer on #8 means maybe you should take a summer month off a spend a month or more in the remote just to see what you might be up against. A "yes" on #9 means you might want to buy a piece of land in a drier climate such as the southwest where there is less to be allergic to (meaning fewer trees), or a more northern climate where it snows until late April, and earlier as in early October. A shorter growing season means less time for pollination, and that means less time having allergies. A "no" means you may not realize the area you are moving to just might make you allergic (this happened to me...I had no idea I had any pollin-born allegies until I move to far west Texas. I had NO allergies on Long Island or in Florida.) Again, you should try spending some time in the area of your desire, preferably in the spring, to see if anything makes you sneeze.

A "yes" on #10 means you are going to put up your own night lights covering any area around your house you will have to traverse at night. Or, you can get used to the area around your house at dark. Many neighbors might find bright lights on at night a serious problem (I know I would!) Plus, if you have night lights on outside, you will miss the view of the beautiful night sky! A "no" means you don't have this problem. If you answered "yes" to #11 you are prepared for the many rugged individualists who choose to live in the remote, such as war vets with PTSD, former outlaws of some kind, people with wierd religious preferences, people who might not seem "normal" to anybody, possible misanthropes (folks who hate people) or in a worst case scenario, possible sociopaths/psychopaths, militia-type survivalists and other doom-and-gloomers waiting for "new world order armeggeddon." If you answered "no" then you may want to consider getting to know your neighbors BEFORE you buy your land! Find out, for instance, if you have any convicted sex offenders in your area, or cults, or weird religions, or some "survivalist compound." And, one more thing: become aware of not only the neighbor people but the neighbor animals as well, that is, dogs. If you hate barking dogs, then buy a piece far from them. There isn't a whole lot you can do about neighbor cats, except shooting them if they insist on getting into your garden, which might cause other problems. As for #12, if you don't have kids you have nothing to worry about. But if you do have kids and your land is at least a half-hours drive to school or more (four trips to town: there and back in the morning and there and back in the afternoon), and there is no way to share the load with other parents, then consider home schooling or even "unschooling". The money you save by not having to buy all that gasoline and wear and tear on your vehicle can be spent on school materials. You won't have to buy "trendy" clothes all the time. You won't have to deal with the other parents or school authorities in case your child is a discipline problem. You won't have to deal with "peer pressure" problems (and don't think "small town" kids are any sweeter or nicer than "big city" kids. I have taught "small town" kids in high school and junior high and believe me they are no angels either, and are usually much more "clique" oriented, so that, if your child is the new kid, he or she may have trouble fitting in for a while (especially if you live out of town!). However, you must consider the laws of your state regarding home schooling. Try to choose a more "liberal home schooling law" state such as Texas, which has the most lenient laws in the country (you only have to prove to the state authorities you are teaching the four basic courses through an accreditied curriculum, and, believe me, NO STATE AUTHORITY has ever checked any home schoolers I know! Some states, though, are strict and require you to have your local public school district "approve" your curriculum and even your lesson plans! (Massachussettes, for instance. MY own rule of thumb is this: given "blue" states and "red" states, the "redder" the state, the more lenient the rules for homeschoolers. If you are really into homeschooling, you might find yourself voting Republican more than you ever imagined! I don't want to tell you how to vote in 2008, but I will say if you homeschool, Hillary Clinton is the LAST person you want to vote for! She has already stated her position on homeschooling, Christian or not, highly structured or not--she will do away with it if she gets the chance! (After she takes your guns away!)

Like what you read? Then subscribe to the Something Happening Here Newsletter! I do not have a set time for it to come out, but I try to make a newsletter once a week or as much as possible with hints and tips on how to live better and more naturally on your rural remote land. From handling garden insects to collecting valuable resources like water and firewood to raising your children to dealing with neighbors, I believe my 25 years experience living on the land can help you make the most of your rural remote life.

Click here to read the first newsletter about how we fix out dirt driveway after rains washed them out, dealing with mice, and more. Click here to find out how to I used herbs and natural products to help with allergies, cold, and other respiratory ailments. Click here to read Part 1 of the "Gloom and Doom" scenario and here to read Part 2. Click here to learn the ten essential items you must have to begin your new life on your rural homestead. Click here to stop worrying about what we cannot change and change only what we can. Click here to find out how I dealt with culture shock after I moved from the big city. Click here for some different angles on the Ron Paul phenomenon. And click here to read about how to liberate yourself from "the matrix".

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